Anticipation

  Every expecting mother at the end of her pregnacy, starts to get an axious feeling. I think it is natural, seeing that you have been pregnant for 8 months and pretty much over it.  But in my case anticipating the birth of Aliyah seems to be even more overwhelming because there are so many unknowns as to her health and no real way of knowing until after she's here.
  Yes, I know she has HLHS(Single right ventricle), but there also has been another concern weighing heavy on my mind.  At my last two ultrasound visits, my OB mentioned that her arm and leg measurements seem to be a little off.  A  little, meaning, 3 weeks. I asked what could this possilbly mean, and he said, best case senerio, she will be of short statue, worst case, a chromosome defieciency....WHAT???? After hearing the news, I was heartbroke all over again!  I had to go upstairs to my cardiologist for another appointment, and they could tell something was wrong. I told them the news, and they said "well let us have a look."  Their measurments were different, her arms were 2 weeks off, and her legs were about a week off, and they would consider that to be in the "normal" range. The cardiologists told me to take what my OB had said under advisement, but not to worry untill there is someting to worry about. IMPOSSIBLE!!!!  I don't know what to think, and until she gets here, I will have unanswered questions. I know no matter what, I will love her unconditionally!  It's just hard to not know what you are up against. I have a feeling that this is only the beginning of the guessing game, WOW it's enough to drive you crazy! I have a new respect for veteran heart moms! I'm still only a rookie to all of this and I question my strenghth on a daily basis. I pray, pray, pray and try to put it all in God's hands.
  One things for sure, my baby girl will be here soon! I have a feeling that seeing her face will put all of my worries to rest. I know that if she can do it, so can I, and I will be there, no matter what!<3

The ending & beginning

  Well I am now at 35 weeks and I have mixed emotions about my life right now.  I know soon that my little bundle of joy will be here finally. Pregnancy has been hard this time, with everything considered, not to mention my son is only a year and a half, so I feel like I have been pregnant FOREVER! It will be a relief to finally see her face, kiss her cheeks, and smell her new baby smell. But a part of me is sad that I will no longer be able to protect her. My heart will no longer beat for her, and she will start her fight for survival. Not only will a little girl soon enter this world, she will also be my heart warrior.  Although I am learning to put all of my faith and trust in God, the anticipation of what's to come is overbearing!
  I love to feel her move & kick, validating that she is doing well.  It was almost like she knew I wondered how she was and poked me to say" I'm ok mom". I have worried way too much about her, but never having a child with such a serious condition made me the most stressed I've ever felt. I have drove my husband absolutly crazy, but I love him even more for staying by my side!
  I had another UVA visit today, and I expected to get a date to be induced. Instead they told me that they would like Aliyah to go to about 39 weeks, I don't see this being possible since both my daughter and son came early and my water broke with both. I am an hour and  half away from UVA and I hope to not be on the interstate in labor!
  I am 1 cm dialated and 35 weeks, I will be going on weekly visits now, so things may change accordingly. I know that she will be here in 3-4 weeks.  Here it comes, the BIG day, Wow I can't believe it! Wish US LUCK!! : )